I haven't completely gotten out of this funk that I've been in since 2010, but some days, (like today), it feels like I'm so close that I can taste it. In the midst of all this revamping of my current website, (www.anarchicdesigns.com), I came to the realization that I've outgrown that name. Anarchic Designs. I only began calling my company that to suit my alter ego Ella Anarchy. Or, rather, what was *supposed* to be my alter ego. But why did I need an alternate 'me' to begin with? Is it because I've never been truly satisfied with who I am? Maybe that's where most of my problems started. I think I set myself up for expectations that were maybe a little too far out of reach. But "Ella Anarchy"?? Come on. That's not really who I am anymore. Maybe it never was...
I've made the decision to start doing away with "Ella Anarchy" and "Anarchic Designs". I have to go back to square one, and back to concentrating on finding the real me, not somebody hiding and getting lost behind a fake persona. It's not something that's going to happen overnight, but I'm just putting it out there so that there aren't any huge surprises when I complete my transformation, so to speak. I feel like a caterpillar in it's chrysalis and I'm still not ready to emerge as this new me that I'm working on. But when my wings are complete, I hope that they will never fall off again.
As usual, I've fallen in love with Jeremy Scott's latest offering from NY Fashion Week:
I think he's definitely the designer I aspire to be like the most. But to be clear: I don't want to be "the next Jeremy Scott". I want to be the first ME.
I have a photoshoot set up with some awesome people tomorrow, to show off the newest creations that didn't get to walk the runway this time around.
I'm taking it one step at a time...
:)
<3
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